“Lives of the Eminent Philosophers” by Diogenes Laërtius

Repartees

Lives Eminent Philosophers

Dionysius: What was the reason that philosophers go to rich men’s houses, while rich men no longer visit philosophers?
Aristippus: The one know what they need while the other do not.

Aristippus enjoyed the favours of Lais, a famous courtesan. “I have Lais, not she me; and it is not abstinence from pleasures that is best, but mastery over them without ever being worsted.” To one who reproached him with extravagance in catering, he replied, “Wouldn’t you have bought this if you could have got it for three obols? I am no longer a lover of pleasure, it is you who are a lover of money.”

He made a request to Dionysius on behalf of a friend and, failing to obtain it, fell down at his feet. And when some one jeered at him, he made reply, “It is not I who am to blame, but Dionysius who has his ears in his feet.” The steward of Dionysius, a Phrygian by birth and a rascally fellow, was showing him costly houses with tesselated pavements, when Aristippus coughed up phlegm and spat in his face. And on his resenting this he replied, “I could not find any place more suitable”.

Household Management

Lyco of Troas
Lyco of Troas

My property in town and at Aegina I give to Lyco because he has resided for a long time with me to my entire satisfaction, as became one whom I treated as my son.

I leave the Peripatus to such of my friends as choose to make use of it, to Bulo, Callinus, Lyco… They shall put over it any such person as in their opinion will persevere in the work of the school and will be most capable of extending it. And all my other friends should co-operate for love of me and of the spot.

Bulo and Callinus, together with their colleagues, shall provide for my funeral and cremation, so as to avoid meanness on the one hand and extravagance on the other. They shall also remunerate the physicians who for their attention to me and their skill deserve far higher reward. As regards my burial, let Lyco bury me here if he chooses, or if he prefers to bury me at home let him do so, for I am persuaded that his regard for propriety is not less than my own.

To Demetrius I remit the purchase-money for the freedom which he has long enjoyed, and bequeath to him five minas and a suit of clothes to ensure him a decent maintenance, in return for all the toil he has borne with me. Micrus I emancipate; and Lyco shall keep him and educate him for the next six years. And Chares I emancipate, and Lyco shall maintain him. I bequeath him two minas and my published writings, while those which have not been given to the world I entrust to Callinus, that he may carefully edit them. .. I also set free the mother of Micros.

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