You brought us into the net;
you laid a crushing burden on our backs;
you let men ride over our heads;
we went through fire and through water;
yet you have brought us out to a place of abundance.
–Psalm 66:11-12
A Personal Story
Let me preface this story by saying that I’ve lived a mostly sheltered life, and therefore am the least justified to take offence at anyone. I did, however, question divine justice once, and learned a lesson that stayed with me till this day.
Many, many years ago, I was a youth working a manual job to support myself and pay tuition. One day my boss demanded me to work without lunch break, and literally drove me to tears. I still vividly remember that night: I stood in the open, staring up into the night sky, asking why God put such a wicked person over me. On my way home, a verse dawned upon me, “All things work together for good to those who love God” (Rom 8:28).
Looking back over the years, I’m convinced that adverse and offensive people and circumstances have done more to build my character than pleasant ones, though they can be painful at the time.
The Psychology of Offense
The word offense comes from a Latin word meaning strike. Aristotle writes that people become angry when they feel they have been wronged, and desire revenge, either consciously or unconsciously. I think that would explain why there is so much anger in the public square today, and why people are so quick to take offense at any real or perceived insults.
Self-esteem is a curious thing. A person’s worth is independent of what others might think of him, or what he might think of himself, for that matter. Just as gold is still gold, and straw is still straw, no matter how people value these things. So why should he feel wounded if others disrespect him?
Let me venture a psychological diagnosis: if a person doesn’t have any knowledge of his true worth, he is wholly dependent on the mirage of public opinion for his self-esteem. He would strain all his power, to sway public opinion in his favour, and silence those who offend him, for it provides him temporary relief and satisfaction. However, it cannot fill his empty and fragile self. Hence the anger never subsides, and the slightest offense opens the wound again. If public opinion is turned against him, he would be driven to despair. “For all who take the sword will perish by the sword.”
From a Christian perspective, a person’s worth does not lie in who he is in the public eye, but who he is in Christ. In other words, his worth is the enduring riches of the Son of God. Paradoxically, just as the Son of God is most victorious when crucified, so a Christian’s worth is most realized, when his self-esteem is brought to the ground. Humility is derived from the Latin word literally meaning ground.
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